You are what you attract!

50 is Friday. I've been reflecting on life, where I've been, where I am and where I want to be. I'll share a reflection a day until the big day.

Matters of the heart have always been my achilles heel because most of my life I tried to fill the void left by my father with my relationships. This meant I picked codependency over purpose.

Now, I find myself single and happy because I used to pick people to join me in my dysfunction so that I felt needed and now I only need the peace of the day to feed my soul. My dependence on the opposite sex wasn't love, it was longing.

One of the most, if not the most important decision I'll ever make is who to let into my heart. My lack of intimacy with myself, the foreign nature of even understanding who I was called to be, always got in the way. How could I ever get partnered with the right woman if I didn't even know who I was? I carried it around everyday of my life and didnt even know my own heart.

Having spent the last several years deliberately getting to know it, I learned what it needs. It'll never find perfection because I'm not perfect. It doesn't need dependence because that's too much power to hand over. Instead, it requires interdependence. It doesn't need her to complete it, because it's already whole. It needs her wholeness combined with my wholeness to enlarge what we have. In other words, 1+1=3.

Whichever feminine heart melds with mine will do so in purpose, patience and prosperity and not materialism or egoism. She'll have a servant's heart who looks out at the world as I do and sees how to be of value, not to be a gift of value.

I believe purpose partners exist and I believe we attract what and who we are. Pick someone that shares your values not someone who on the outside fits the ideal image of what we think we want. The picture of ideal isn't real.