Motivation Monday: Milestone

Tomorrow, I'll reach a milestone I've never thought much about. We all age and I've always lived with the mindset getting older is just a number. Now that I'm turning 50, I know it's much more than a number. It's a legacy.

The somber note is that the odds are against a Black man in America living until 50 let alone doing so healthy. That's quite sad but it's a fact. So today I'm writing about myself even though tomorrow is my birthday. I want to dedicate the fifth and final post, tomorrow, to my mother.

My early 20's were carefree, fun and wild. I lived hard, partied hard and had not a care in the world. Then I read the Autobiography of Malcolm X and everything shifted. I went from thinking about my pleasure to thinking about my plight as a Black man in America.

I read, I studied, and I got serious about life and money. I stopped having fun and started plotting and planning my future. I bought a condo at 24, finished undergrad at 26 and had amassed a real estate portfolio worth $3 million by 28.

The day I turned 30, I was in the middle of a severe depression. I had never been so lost and out of myself than at any other point in life. I had already lost a best friend and brother from another mother Mike Phipps 8 years prior and was still dealing with that. Losing my last remaining best friend 3 months before my 30th birthday to gun violence forever altered my life.

A couple months ago, I was talking to my sister Annena and she told me I changed after Ron's death. She said I died with him. Looking back, I think I did. The day Ron died, April 20, 2000, we were several years deep into building what had become a very successful record company and were in the process of launching the first ever online tech music portal. The day he died, we were worth $60 million.

I spent the next couple years losing everything and bottoming out. I chose to stay there for a while. My father passed during this time and I made some other very regrettable choices that kept me down. A few years later as I was just starting to emerge from the fog I got married. It didn't occur to me to give myself time to heal.

My life was altered again forever at 37 as I became a father. I was worried I wouldn't be a good father because of the toxic relationship I had with mine, but the moment I saw that little girl, fear and worry were no more. Two years later, the boy showed up and they truly changed my life and are still changing it.

As I entered my 40s I once again had a lot going on. Amongst other things, I was doing the hard work of building a real estate development company. We are now in our 15th year and going strong.

My faith is my foundation and my kids are my heartbeat. This decade I was able to find my voice, purpose, ministry and calling. Although they're almost the same, they're unique. The best part is that my life is fully integrated. My career, passions, interests and service are all intertwined and overlap.

I wake up everyday pinching myself at how blessed I am. I want for nothing, my heart is full and my spirit is tapped into its source. I don't have the mere appearance of being blessed. I am blessed deep in my soul. I live in total alignment with how and who God created me to be. It is through this alignment that I parent and relate to my children, walk out my faith and serve the community and various enterprises I am honored to be part of.

The doors that have been opened, the people in my network, the ridiculous opportunities and deals that keep knocking and my privilege to serve, leave me in awe. None of this is a result of my will, skills or talent, it's only because of God's grace and mercy for surely I am not worthy.

As I look at 50, tomorrow, and reflect back on the peaks and very deep valleys, the highs and lows and all the in between, I would not change a thing. No matter how good things are or bleak life can get, I've truly found for me what works which is to live the day fully and to squeeze every ounce of love and joy out of the next 24 hours.

Even though most days are filled with sunshine, storms do come. The thing about storms though is they roll in and roll right out. I've learned to nourish myself with the rain water and enjoy the bounty of new life that springs forth in the dawn. Happy birthday to all my July babies out there and Happy 50th birthday to me, tomorrow, July 17, 1970. They were already in flight to the moon while I was on my way to earth.

#bevulnerable #beauthentic #liveyourtruth #nevergiveup #inspiration #motivation