Grateful for my Mom

At 19 years old, this woman's life would never be the same. She had just graduated from Vallejo Senior High School the summer of 1969 and I cannot imagine she thought a year later she'd be married with a new son.

Life hadn't even started for her and here she was being responsible for another. With a husband on the way to Vietnam, her youthful independence cut short, she dug into mommy hood and she hasn't stopped digging since.

Soon she'd be 26 with a 7 year old, a 4 year old and a newborn. Married to a troubled abusive man and living far from her family who were in the Bay Area while we were domiciled in San Diego.

I remember witnessing the many years of domestic violence which was so frequent it was expected. The ultimate sacrifice for her began at 29 when she found herself divorced, with 3 young kids and a crazy ex husband that was dead set on doing whatever in his power to destroy her life.

She worked 3 jobs, was always broke, was always sacrificing and would keep us from seeing any of it. Somehow, someway she worked herself to the bone, killing herself to provide, all the while keeping us in a protective bubble.

She never ever spared the rod and we didn't miss church. We ate dinner as a family and we were nonstop engaged in activities from sports to band to girl and boy scouts, karate, gymnastics and many weekends at the beach.

Living in San Diego was amazing and she found a way for us to be proud of our Blackness in the middle of a universe that didn't look like us. There was always at least one black family on the block and she'd always adopt them.

I learned later that my father made her quit college when they married due to his own insecurities. No wonder why she drove us to excel academically. I remember watching this grandmother go back to school first for her AA, then BA and eventually her MA.

I cannot imagine living in her shoes with all the moving as a Navy Wife, physical abuse from a broken husband, dreams deferred from becoming a young mother, and juggling everything because her husband was constantly deployed.

My spirtual gift of discernment, germaphobia, drive, passion for Christ, sleepy eyes, patience, diplomacy, work ethic, resilience, service, love for family and so many more values, traits and attributes come from her.

She's never stopped parenting me, including telling me what streets to take to my own house, but everybody who knows her loves her.

She was literally supermom and that made it very rough on the girls I dated because they'd complain about something and I'd be thinking in my mind about my mom and whisper to myself "yeah, you ain't gonna make it, you're too soft".

I used to love bringing girls to meet her. She had and still has this filter and non verbal communication I pick up on immediately if she's a keeper or not. It was funny to watch because they'd be cute and polite and do and say all the right things but she wasn't evaluating them in a carnal nature.

She was tapping into her spirtual discernment and looking into their souls. Now that I write this, it was kinda spooky, but I always felt what she felt before I brought them to her. But I was always a sucker for boobs and butt and a pretty face and threw my discernment out the window. That's mainly why I wanted them to meet her so she could snap me out of my spell, lol.

She chose to put us before her dreams, ambitions and personal wellbeing. I'm grateful for her raising us with clarity, discipline, patience, expectations, faith and love. I know she's proud of us and I can honestly say her sacrifice wasn't in vain.

Happy Birthday mom. 50 years ago you became a mother and you still treat me like I'm that same baby you brought home from the hospital in Vallejo on July 17, 1970.

#bevulnerable #beauthentic #liveyourtruth #nevergiveup #inspiration #motivation